Actually things have been pretty bad, bad enough that you are vowing to start the new year off with a resolution to improve your relationship.
Let me start by sharing that I’ve been married over 30 years so I can definitely relate to how you’re feeling right now!
Hey! You’ve learned (or you will learn) Marriage is not all Roses and Valentine’s Hearts.
A lot of the time it’s work and keeping your mouth shut and your urges under control.
What you’ll learn…
In this marriage discussion we are going to go over 10 simple ways men can improve their marriage, starting today.
Here’s an [Infographic] for you to study and then afterwards we will review the 10 ideas it covers, which BTW – can help with common marriage problems…
Simple Solutions for Common Marriage Problems
OK, you made it this far so let’s start our review of these simply marriage tips.
Did you notice anything about these tips?
Here’s a hint.
They don’t require you to buy any gifts because she doesn’t want more STUFF!
She wants YOU!
Keep that in mind as we work through the list below…
Let’s dive into these “easy to do” marriage tips:
1. Date Night
Do you even remember what a date is?
Let me give it to you straight here.
Most guys don’t do date night because they are selfish.
That’s right, selfish!
And here’s why we are selfish.
Date nights are not about US!
It’s about giving our wife our time and attention doing what she wants to do.
I admit it isn’t easy to watch chick flicks (especially at home) or eating somewhere I don’t like.
But that’s not why we need do it.
It isn’t about ME.
It’s about our marriage (and HER).
A common problem with marriages nowadays is husband and wife growing apart – YET – living together under the same roof…
KEEP YOUR ROMANCE ALIVE BY SPENDING QUALITY TIME TOGETHER, LAUGHING, AND ENJOYING EACH OTHERS INTERESTS OR EVEN TRYING NEW FUN ACTIVITIES AS A COUPLE
2. Tell Her She’s Beautiful
Let me ask you – when was the last time you uttered any of these words below to her?
- You are beautiful!
- You look awesome today!
- I like your hair that way!
- You smell nice, what kind of perfume is that?
- Is that a new dress, I’ve never seen it before?
- Thank you for this meal, it was amazing!
All of these statements are saying the same thing – you are beautiful and I appreciate you.
Men don’t say these word enough, which fuels another common marriage issue called loneliness.
TELL HER OFTEN SHE’S BEAUTIFUL IN WHATEVER UNIQUE WAY APPLIES TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP
OK, I admit that after 30 years of marriage this one still gets me all the time.
I just want her to get to the point of the story!
But I know that isn’t how most women are wired – they want to explain all the details.
So the tip here is to be open to whatever it is she is saying.
Not that you have to agree, but listen and be interested.
- Turn off the TV
- Stop playing your video game
- Put away the cell phone (BTW, the same goes for her)
Nothing is more annoying then to go on a date with someone who can’t put their cell phone away!
Communication takes focusing your attention – so focus!
KEEP THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN AT ALL TIMES, ABOUT ANY TOPIC, AND LET HER KNOW THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS WILLING TO TALK AND LISTEN
Here’s a teaser, the next 2 tips go hand-in-hand with communication…
4. Listening (Did you hear what I said?)
Are these words familiar:
Have you been listening to what I have been saying…
Maybe you are like most men I know and instead of listening, you are waiting for your turn to talk?
Or, worse – you are constantly interrupting her!
Listening takes concentration, eye contact, and head-nodding, which are all non-verbal signs to her that she has your attention.
Many marriages will end in divorce because couples cannot communicate or listen. This includes WORDS that are being said verbally and non-verbally…
ACTIVE LISTENING INVOLVES LISTENING WITH DEEP REVERENCE, WITHOUT JUDGMENT AND KEEPING AN OPEN MIND TO HER POINT OF VIEW
5. Be Attentive
What the heck does this mean?
A common problem woman have with us guys is when we “Tune them out!”
Remember my list of things that says “I love you?”
Well, not saying these statements is to not being attentive.
For example: If your wife goes out of her way for you then for God’s sake, notice it – and say something that shows her you noticed.
I’m talking non-verbal communication again, which is probably 30 – 40% of what she is saying.
STOP tuning her out!
Our problem as husbands is we are not paying attention to our wives. We are mentally somewhere else, which is why she isn’t paying any attention to YOU and your love-life is suffering!
BEING ATTENTIVE CAN COME IN MANY DIFFERENT FORMS, AND IS REALLY JUST A MATTER OF UNDERSTANDING AND IDENTIFYING HER NEEDS
6. Provide Encouragement
With so many terrible things in the news bombarding our lives it’s really easy to become negative about everything, even the good things such as our relationships.
Over the years I’ve actually gotten pretty good at it being able to read when my wife needs a picker-upper.
How about you – are you able to lift your wife’s mood when she is down?
Here’s some phrases to practice:
- Today is going to be your day!
- Thank You!
- Can I do the dishes?
- We need a break, let’s go out to eat!
- Want to go watch a movie?
- Just hold her and don’t say anything!
These statements aren’t anything big but they are encouragement.
Unfortunately, many marriages suffer because of a lack of kindness or encouraging words being spoken by the husband or wife.
GO THE EXTRA MILE TO MAKE SURE SHE IS EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY, AND SPIRITUALLY FULFILLED AND REACH OUT TO HER TO PROVIDE SUPPORT, WHICH WILL ACTUALLY BUILD TRUST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
7. Compliment Her
Everyone loves to be complimented.
I know I’ve already covered this a lot, but it cannot be over stated.
Let’s practice some compliments:
- You are wonderful!
- Your cooking is awesome!
- You look amazing!
- I’m so lucky you married me!
- You are a wonderful mom!
See how easy it is?
Here’s an idea for you: write these phrases down and text them to her.
Do you mind if I get personal for a moment?
No man or woman goes to work wanting to have an affair. But affairs happen all the time and they start with something as subtle as a compliment.
MAKE SURE SHE FEELS APPRECIATED AND LOVED BY COMPLIMENTING HER AND LETTING HER KNOW SHE IS IMPORTANT TO YOU
8. Make Concessions
Let me say it another way, “Don’t be a jerk!”
I have nothing more to say on this topic.
IN ALL RELATIONSHIPS, THERE WILL BE CONFLICTS AND FIGHTS BUT MEETING EACH OTHER HALF WAY HELPS RESOLVE MOST ISSUES
9. Do Your Honey-Do’s
If you don’t have children to do these chores or you can’t afford to have someone do them then get off you butt and get them done!
No kidding – these are your jobs so stop procrastinating.
- Take out the trash!
- Cut the lawn!
- Clean the pool!
- Fix the leaky sink!
- Fix the leaky toilet!
- Name your task and get it done, ASAP!
I’m sure there are some women who don’t agree with my tone, but for those who do it is sad to think something like this is causing so much pain in your home.
Men, honor your wife, she is not your gardener or handyman!
NOT ONLY BECAUSE IT IS HONEST AND FAIR BUT BECAUSE IT SHOWS THAT YOU RESPECT AND SUPPORT YOUR WIFE
10. Unconditional Love
What is unconditional Love?
It means to love without placing any conditions on our affections.
- I Love You because you are You! Not because you are a super model.
- I Love You because you are You! Not because you are rich.
- I Love you because you are You! Not because you are famous.
The biggest mistake husbands or wives can make in their marriage is to compare one-another with someone else. So Stop! Or you are asking for marriage problems or worse, divorce…
COMPASSION, EMPATHY, AND CARE BUILDS TRUST AND IS AN EXPRESSION OF THE FIERY ROMANTIC EMOTIONS YOU FEEL FOR HER
Let’s bring it home…
As we come to the end of this discussion about simple things men can do to improve their marriage let me emphasize how easy it is to ruin a relationship.
It only takes words to kill a marriage so think about the next words you say to your wife.
And please take these tips to heart if you value your marriage!
Take action NOW:
Start Loving More, Talking Less, Listening Attentively, Fixing Toilets, and Appreciating your Wife!
Best of all, everything on this list can begin TODAY, right NOW.
Go ahead and start being the Awesome Husbands you are meant to be. Thanks for reading and please share this post!